WEIRD AND STRANGE EATS VOL II:
Rocky Mountain Oysters aka Bull testicles
Ever since I saw the scene in Funny Farm as a child I wanted a chance to try these elusive deep-fried orchis. I didn’t actively seek them out, nor did I ever mention my desire to try them, but I knew if I ever came across them; I wouldn’t pass up the chance. A part of me was afraid I would chicken out if I saw them. Luckily when I finally did see them on a menu, I was able to eat them with my temerarious family. (Honestly if I were by myself, I would have definitely would have wimped out.)
Last year we went on a road trip during Christmas break, it allowed us to eat some local delicacies. A friend raved about Harris Ranch, she said that it was her favorite steak house. When we planned our road trip, we knew we had to put it on our route. Harris Ranch Inn & Restaurant is a great one-stop tourist spot, it has three restaurants all lined up together. Varying from a casual bar to a proper steakhouse. We are at the mid-level family style restaurant, since we were road tripping we weren’t exactly dressed for the fancy steakhouse and traveling with a baby and toddler, meant weren’t the right company for the bar/lounge area.
We were seated fairly quickly considering it was during the holiday rush. Upon opening the menu and browsing through their appetizers; my eyes locked onto their “oysters.” I got so giddy and ordered them straight away. The waiter asked me if I knew what I was ordering, and I replied, “yes, I have been waiting my whole life to try them.” He chuckled and said, “ok, as long as you know what you’re ordering.”
When they arrived, I was expecting a large fried “baseball,” but instead the testicles were cut into slivers and were bite-size for ease of eating. It came with a cocktail-style sauce that didn’t have the horseradish bite. My first taste was filled with excitement and trepidation; would it taste salty? Like sperm (bleach-y)?
Will it be slimy?!
I couldn’t turn back now, I had to eat it, both my husband and daughter were looking at me for approval. I dipped it into the sauce, and bit into it. The chewiness took me by surprise, it kind of had the texture of a more chewy calamari with a slight briny flavor. It was tasty! If you served this to people without telling them what it was, people would think they were eating fried calamari.
Harris Ranch Inn & Restaurant is the only place I have seen it served, so if you’re ever in the area drop by and have some bull’s balls or for the timid, their steaks are mighty fine too.
24505 W. Dorris Ave.
Coalinga, CA 93210